AF arrived!

I woke up this morning and my temp took a huge nosedive. I was actually a lot better about it then I thought I would be. It was 30 days since my last period which is very normal for me which I am extremely happy about it. My first AF took 36 days post d&c to come.

I posted on the nest and thought about the positives.

1. My body is pretty much back to normal again. We have now passed the two cycle mark that my dr. and np recommended.

2. My LP is 14 days which I thought it was.

4. FF is my best friend for now. It nailed ovulation right on the nose.

4. Saturday, I can go to my friend's 30th b-day and drink as much as I want. Sunday we are taking our new boat out for Memorial Day and I can enjoy it.

I am getting my wisdom teeth pulled on June 11. I am o'ing the week before but am pretty sure that ttc will not be a good idea if I am going to have anesthesia and other meds. I will most likely wait until cycle #4 post d&c to ttc again.

update

Today is 12DPO. Still having some moments of nausea. Almost threw up today in my classroom and had to hold my hand over my mouth to keep it in. Students knew I didn't feel well but of course had no clue what was going on. I will see what happens with my temps tomorrow and Thursday. Either AF will be on her way or I will be testing with FMU on Thursday. I really want this to be it. If it's not on to next cycle. If I get a BFN I will be partaking in drinking Saturday night at a good friend's 30th b-day. If I get a BFP, I will be hiding not drinking from all my friends. I already have it planned out. I will bring a cup with me and pretend that I brought my drink from home. If anyone suspects anything I will say that I haven't been feeling well- not a lie. I am so happy for all the BFP's on the nest but I would love to be one of the next!

10DPO

Promised myself I wouldn't test this morning but I broke down and did. It was a dollar tree test so I wasn't really wasting any money. Even when I got my BFP, I didn't test until Day 29 of my cycle which was like 14/15 DPO and the first test was so faint I could barely see the line.

I will continue temping this week and see if AF shows. If she is not here by Thurs/Fri- I will test again.

Symptoms

Symptom Check-
I am hoping, hoping, hoping these are all signs. If not, on to next month.
DPO 4+5- Slight cramping
DPO 6,7, 8 Nausea
DPO 7+8, Threw up both days
After O- Irritable
DPO 6, 7, 8- Increase in CM
DPO 8- Constipation, Gassy
Temps look good
DPO 9- Seems like I have more saliva, and I still am gassy

Seriously, please let these be signs.
My nestie friends are all giving me hope.
I am pretty sure I will not be testing until AF is due/late

Is this our month??

Just an update as to what is happening. I got AF on April 23. It is now May 13 and I am almost pos I o'd on Saturday. I was in NY and up late on Saturday night and took my temp later than usual. Well, I used the temp corrector and it moved it to 98.04 which is a jump from Saturday. Yesterday and today it was also up so I am pretty sure that O has occurred. I have had some creamy cm today. I am hoping, hoping, hoping that this is a good sign! I am not testing until AF is late. I am not putting myself through what I did last month!

Poem

I saw this on my message board and it brought me to tears:

"Thoughts on Becoming a Mother
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall. I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.I have learned to appreciate life.Yes I will be a wonderful mother."
-Unknown

Home sick!

So today is the first day in 4 years teaching that I didn't go to work because I was sick. I felt sick Wed and then yesterday did not feel well all day. Turns out I had a fever all last night. I woke up in the middle of the night sick as a dog and got a sub for today. I still had to go in and do lesson plans but it was fine since I only work 5 min from school. I ended up coming home and taking a nap... So, to talk pg. I thought that I was possibly pregnant but I'm not. In fact I got my period exactly two weeks after I am almost positive I o'd. I was actually very relieved. Even though it would have been nice to have a X-mas baby I am so happy to know that my body is working again and I am building my uterus and such back up. Today is CD3 and I am hoping to ttc this month. Well that it's for now. Not too much going on at the moment...

I am OCD

So because of the weird things going on with my body this week I decided I was going to test. I went to the dollar store last night and bought two tests, I would have bought more but I think the cashier would think I was crazy. I took one last night and nothing came up. I was quite upset because I should have been in my 2nd trimester yesterday and instead I got a BFN. Well, I woke up last night at 4:30 to pee and I haven't done that since I was pg. I decided to take another test this morning and I saw a faint faint line. I went to work and after lunch had a moment of nausea. That hasn't happened since I was pg. Sooo, I went to the drugstore and bought 3 FRER. I took one when I got home and again I saw the faintest of all faint lines. I told my DH I was OCD and not to be mad at me and showed him the tests. He too saw the lines. I am only what I think to be 9DPO. We decided not to stress out this weekend as we are getting ready to go to New Smyrna Beach tonight for the weekend to celebrate our friend's b-day. She is 36 weeks pregnant and I haven't seen her since January. I am looking forward to seeing her and her belly! We will be taking our boats out tomorrow and I am going to enjoy it. I can stress when I get back! Although, I am taking the extra two tests with me in case I have a really bad case of OCD when I am there...

The thoughts going through my mind.

So, I know it has only been 30 days since my d&c but I want to be pg. so bad. We are not actively ttc but I am almost positive I o'd last Wednesday. DH and I didn't have sex for the first two weeks for obvious reasons- I was still bleeding, cramping, crying from the m/c and d&c. Then I went away for 5 days. When I came home I was ready to bd. We did it Sunday and Monday night and I had some cm. Well then Wednesday I had some ewcm. We were in bed and my H wanted to do it and I told him I thought I was o'ing. Well we did it and now I feel like I am having some symptoms. I have been really tired last night and tonight. I have had what feel like AF cramps but no AF. I have been absolutely ravenous and feel like I am peeing all the time. Could be pg symptoms? Could just be wacky stuff happening with the d&c. I really want to test Friday but I will only be what I think will be 9dpo. I may just test anyway since I know I will be drinking at my friend's b-day get together this weekend. If it is neg. and I don't get AF by next week, I will test again. I know it can take anywhere from 4-6 weeks to get AF after a m/c, d&c so I am just in the waiting game. I so just want it to be our turn!!! I am also so annoyed with all these unmarried celebs getting pg when I am married and want it so bad!!!

What's going on now...

Okay, about what's going on now. To make a long story short. I went off BCP last April. We were not actively ttc until about November- December. I started plotting my temp in January and got a BFP on Valentine's Day. Nathan and I could not have been any happier!! We told our family and closest friends but didn't want to tell everyone b/c of the chance of m/c. Well fast forward to my first appt. on March 18. We went in, talked to the dr., he then started the u/s. Even though I had been stressed I was not fully ready for what was about to happen. He put the wand in and started moving it around. I pretty much knew very fast that something was not right. Nathan did not. The dr. showed me the screen and he said ok, here are your ovaries. Thanks, but that's not what I wanted to see. It pretty much was just a blank screen. He turned the monitor off and said this is not good for the pregnancy. I seriously felt as though the world stopped that instant. I looked at Nate sit down and I think I felt worse for him than I did for me. The dr. told me that he was pretty sure that I was having a molar pregnancy and that it is extremely rare. Great, so now not only did I lose the baby but I could possibly be having something that 1/1000 or so women get. What are the chances?? Well, I had my d&c the next day. Got the path results back the following Monday. Turns out I had a m/c in which the baby stopped growing. As sad as we were we knew that it was not a molar pregnancy and most likely we would be able to ttc again soon. So here we are now. Tomorrow will be a month from the d&c, can't believe a month already. I guess we are in the waiting game of AF.

First time blogging for real...

So, where to start where to start? I guess pretty much wherever I want right? First, I will give a little history to who I am. My name is Raechel and I was born in Brooklyn, NY in 1978. Before I was 4, my mom and dad had divorced. My mom got remarried and we moved to Boca Raton, Fl. It was my mom, stepdad, and my two older sisters (Jessica and Stephanie). I had a wonderful life growing up in Boca! I went to great private schools and was lucky enough to meet girls in middle school who I know will be life time friends for sure. Okay, I'm not going to write every little thing but I am a teacher and I do love to write. I have two younger brothers, Matthew and Christopher, who I absolutely adore. They are 22 and 19. When I was 19, I moved to Orlando to attend UCF. I graduated with my degree in Elementary Ed. in 2002. I met my wonderful husband Nathan when we were seniors and we got married December 30, 2006. We live in a beautiful house in the same neighborhood he grew up in. (His mom still lives here).